Tooti Fruti de Mer

Its official. Pepe the King Prawn, a distant and oh so charming relative of Barry the Lobster has superseded Barry in the recent 'Crayfish of the Year Award'. Perhaps its something to do with being Spanish? I mean, I haven't seen Barry in years, and all of a sudden, I'm sitting at my mum and dad's one Christmas, and who should happen upon my televisual screen but a handsome cassanova with six hands and rather wild red hair in a pale green hoodie? Perhaps it was that he reminded me of my youth. Perhaps it was the accent, KHO KAY? The constantly shifting loyalties? The disregard for females? Why do I like men (or fish) who keep women at arm's length?

Personally, I've always had a soft spot for those of the ginger variety. Ginger tom cats. My mate Jonathan. Any men with nice freckly arms. Chubby little freckly faced boys with big brown eyes... oooh, just noticed, liking ginger things if they are of the male variety. How transparent.

I always knew crustaceans had personalities.