Too much of nothing

They say that a hope defered makes the heart sick. So how long to you have to keep hoping? Waiting? How do you deal with disappointments in life, lack of recognition and consolidation in your circumstances or relationships? I mean, sometimes I just feel like I'm wasting time on this earth... in a job that has no greater purpose but to feed and house me, waiting to meet 'the one', waiting to reach my creative and personal potentials, constantly getting disappointed that I'm not 'arriving', not being, but always in this process of learning to hang on just a little bit longer.

What about hope? What keeps me going? What, when all is said and done, keeps getting me up in the morning past all the 'exciting' things I want to do with my life, all the contributions I want to make, all the lives I want to touch? For what purpose? What difference does it make?

I figured out if you can't get validated and justified by any other human being, or collection of humans, then the only option is God. I'm hungry, full of desire that remains unfulfilled, wanting to give myself completely to someone, something that will appreciate and protect my heart, so that I won't have to spend so much time and energy in protecting myself from the onslaught of all life's circumstances and relationships.

Oh, I make so many mistakes along the way, but I AM filled with hope. I do KNOW that this longing and calling deeper will expose me to truth and beauty that will not fade. And I KNOW that my life will begin to reflect that. I KNOW there will be joy in artistic expression of the pain and the hope... Oh, I'll still be open to disappointments, and this longing will only get deeper, call me further into the bigger picture....

But what are the other options?

There are none that are a viable alternative.

cor, that was a bit reflective.