Whitehall, London, 1834
Dearest Gwendoline,
It was with great anticipation that I opened your latest communiqué to me. I have been on an arctic adventure, and have only just returned, so I apologise for the six-month delay in replying to your thesis. It has been a most exhilarating experience, and I did not lose one single husky, although one of my crew went ice fishing one morning and never returned. We have a feeling that he was kidnapped by native ice-dwellers, although since none of us had either seen anything and the only thing remaining was a basket of fish, we have our suspicions. We never did find the lost statue of the giant prawn god, but we did have a marriage on board, and since I was captain of the expedition, the duty fell to me to perform the ceremony. It was a beautiful occasion and we all got quite drunk on Whisky. It is fortunate we have returned with our lives intact.
I send my regards to your mother and hope that she has had more success this year breeding her pedigree guinea pigs. How many competitions has she entered them into this season? How is Bongo, my favourite? The last thing I heard was that she was thinking of branching out into amphibians? Has this plan come to fruition at all? And what of your brother, Alfred? Has he finally graduated from the seminary? Fourteen years is an awfully long time to be studying how to button a cassock. I hear he has carved quite a niche for himself as a master bookbinder in the interim.
I must say that I am sorry to hear about your recent electrocution, and hope that you have recovered and are now drinking more than mere lemonade through a straw. I enclose a package containing the finest smoked fishes for your enjoyment. These were the only memorabilia we found of dear Olli, and I know he would be honoured by your enjoyment of these delicacies.
Thank you for your kind invitation to visit you and your son, William. I hear he has grown very entertaining with his comedic singing routines and is planning an outing on the stage? Not to be advised for someone who is only three and a half, but I'm sure you know this already. I will have to see whether I can fit it in with my lecture tour around southern Germany and the persistent fundraising that I need to do in order to enable me to continue my search for the giant prawn god. Damn this obsession, it will be the death of me!
My dear, this brings me to a painful topic which I am loath to broach. How can I say this without hurting your feelings, especially in lieu of the recent electrocution? I make a dreadful suitor, don't I? I have disregard for your stability, financial and otherwise. I spend months away from home on a regular basis, spend all the money I have to ensure the success of my expeditions and care for little more than the pursuit of the elusive prawn God. What can I say more than I value your continued friendship and am saddened that I can only offer in return my loyalty and affection. Should you need anything, you know you only need ask.
My dear, I must go now as the huskies are growing restless and are demanding to be fed. But before I go, one more thing: I have also enclosed the address of a young gentleman who may be able to advise William in his endeavours to practice his comedy. I believe he is an acquaintance of your brother Alfred from the seminary. His name is Timothy. Do send him my regards if you happen to see him.
Yours faithfully,
Captain Gary De Beauvoir - St James
It was with great anticipation that I opened your latest communiqué to me. I have been on an arctic adventure, and have only just returned, so I apologise for the six-month delay in replying to your thesis. It has been a most exhilarating experience, and I did not lose one single husky, although one of my crew went ice fishing one morning and never returned. We have a feeling that he was kidnapped by native ice-dwellers, although since none of us had either seen anything and the only thing remaining was a basket of fish, we have our suspicions. We never did find the lost statue of the giant prawn god, but we did have a marriage on board, and since I was captain of the expedition, the duty fell to me to perform the ceremony. It was a beautiful occasion and we all got quite drunk on Whisky. It is fortunate we have returned with our lives intact.
I send my regards to your mother and hope that she has had more success this year breeding her pedigree guinea pigs. How many competitions has she entered them into this season? How is Bongo, my favourite? The last thing I heard was that she was thinking of branching out into amphibians? Has this plan come to fruition at all? And what of your brother, Alfred? Has he finally graduated from the seminary? Fourteen years is an awfully long time to be studying how to button a cassock. I hear he has carved quite a niche for himself as a master bookbinder in the interim.
I must say that I am sorry to hear about your recent electrocution, and hope that you have recovered and are now drinking more than mere lemonade through a straw. I enclose a package containing the finest smoked fishes for your enjoyment. These were the only memorabilia we found of dear Olli, and I know he would be honoured by your enjoyment of these delicacies.
Thank you for your kind invitation to visit you and your son, William. I hear he has grown very entertaining with his comedic singing routines and is planning an outing on the stage? Not to be advised for someone who is only three and a half, but I'm sure you know this already. I will have to see whether I can fit it in with my lecture tour around southern Germany and the persistent fundraising that I need to do in order to enable me to continue my search for the giant prawn god. Damn this obsession, it will be the death of me!
My dear, this brings me to a painful topic which I am loath to broach. How can I say this without hurting your feelings, especially in lieu of the recent electrocution? I make a dreadful suitor, don't I? I have disregard for your stability, financial and otherwise. I spend months away from home on a regular basis, spend all the money I have to ensure the success of my expeditions and care for little more than the pursuit of the elusive prawn God. What can I say more than I value your continued friendship and am saddened that I can only offer in return my loyalty and affection. Should you need anything, you know you only need ask.
My dear, I must go now as the huskies are growing restless and are demanding to be fed. But before I go, one more thing: I have also enclosed the address of a young gentleman who may be able to advise William in his endeavours to practice his comedy. I believe he is an acquaintance of your brother Alfred from the seminary. His name is Timothy. Do send him my regards if you happen to see him.
Yours faithfully,
Captain Gary De Beauvoir - St James
posted by Soaring @ 11:05 am
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