There's a lot of love in the room

One of the many books on my current reading list is called The Five Love Languages of God. The of God part is irrellevant for the moment, becuase it just expands on the ways in which we love God and he loves us, but the main point is that there are five primary ways in which we give and recieve love to one another. They are as follows:

Touch (obvious one)

Quality Time (again, you are important, I give you time)

Gifts (little meaningful presents, not necessarily expensive)

Acts of Service (I love my wife, so I'll buy her some flowers - d'oh! she thinks it is a waste of money and would rather I did the dishes.... I wish she'd buy me a rolex, but I've just got to understand that raising my kids, keeping me fed, ironing my shirts, doing car pool, cleaning the house and being beautiful for me is more precious than an ipod. Or a GSX650)

Words of Affirmation ('You're great' etc...)

Also, the chappy writing the book says that we are likely to respond to one of these more than any other, hence our PRIMARY love language. (mine is words of affirmation). He suggests that if we are not receiving from our Primary language, it doesn't matter how much the people around us (or significant other) are loving us, we jsut don't get it, we just don't feel loved. And if we don't feel loved, we feel less able to give love... and hence there is less love all around.

SO, what is my point? I think this is to encourage one another to see if you can decipher each other's love languages so that you can start to really communicate your appreciation in ways that are going to be received. Plus, if you share it with one another, then you get your love quotia filled and everyone will be much happier. I mean, take Serena Wombat for example. I'd wager that her Primary LL is Words of Affirmation: She is a writer after all, and complains about not getting enough positive feedback. The things we complain that we're not getting is a surefire indicator of what our language is. Also, stuff that we ask for a lot, 'For goodness' sake, just take the rubbish out, would you?'

Personally, even though I love giving words of affirmation and receiving them even more, I also love giving presents. Little care packages I call them. Silly things, silly stories, mini teddy bears or shelves... or actually I like organising things too, like the ironing room. I bought shelves and a clothes rack and everything! It were really good in the end. But the point is, if you give me presents, they just don't hit the mark, (unless it is something practical like a fruity shower gel) becuase my PRIMARY language is words of affirmation.

CULTURAL CLASH: In Britain, in the British culture, we don't seem to be very good at giving positive feedback at all, you know, sharing what we think (Lord knows we don't want to OFFEND anyone!!), or being touchy feely unless it is sexually related (see Binge drinking as a symptom of British repression). I think Serena is a bit more mediterranean in outlook, which could explain why she loves the continent so much... So, everyone who ever visits her blog: LOTS OF AFFIRMING WORDS PLEASE !!! (me too for that matter, it makes me feel special when you comment, so when I invite replies, write LOTS!!!)

OK, over the cyberwaves it is a bit difficult to give one another great big squishes, but hey... Are you hearing me, people??? Thank you for being sparkly! (here, see what I did? Just affirmed you all with words.)

What is your Primary Love Language, and are you getting your fix?