One impossible man

A work colleague of mine who I had a little 'indiscretion' with earlier on in the year, a chap who I still care about and like has just told me his weekend was rather successful (in the pulling stakes). This in itself is not something I find shocking. I know that the guy is looking for love, or excitement, or a life partner, or a girlfriend, or even just someone to have sex with. Fair enough. Lifestyle choice I suppose.

I'm not stupid. I know what he's like. I'm under absolutely no illusions that this is the direction his life is going in. Also, I knew that it was inevitable that sooner or later he was going to pull a random bird and bring her back to his flat for a bit of such and such... God forbid, I almost encouraged it, if only to force a change in our ambiguous relationship which I knew would be better for me.

But this change I think has come sooner than I expected, even though I fully expected it. I guess since I had expected it all along, I'm not that surprised. I don't feel particularly emotional about it at the moment, certianly not in a knee-jerk reaction, tears all over the place, why the hell am I reacting like this? kind of way. I've been having all these rather strong emotional reactions to things recently to all sorts of other things you see, so I think I'm sort of surprised that I'm not more hurt and disappointed than I thought I would be. Could this be a mysterious case of my head ruling my heart for a change? Phew! It is a bit of a relief.

Of course I'm a little sad that it has to go this way from now on, but hey... that's the way the cookie crumbles. It will be interesting to see how the friendship dynamics change now. Don't start telling me, 'He's an asshole, he doesn't deserve a friend like you, he's a man, he's rubbish, you're better off without him!' in a bid to spare my feelings.

Just becuase someone is hopeless, it doesn't mean you love them any less.

You just don't take as much crap as you used to.