Becoming

I know it takes time. But after the last six months, I'm ready for a break. I'm learning to breathe in every moment. I'm slowly learning how not to have road rage! When I find myself starting to stress, I consciously make an effort just to let it all go. I say, 'Its not important, there is nothing you can do. Just let go.'

I think it is working. I think the more I stay in a state of calm, the more I aspire to it, the more I try to become it, to become my name, to become who I was created to be, the easier it is to recognise what I am not. It is a bit of a battle, and a bit of a rude awakening to find that for so many years you have been behaving contrary to your true nature. This whole 'striving' part of me isn't me at all! And so, the layers have to be peeled back, peeled off, a painful process... and the beauty has to be revealed.

Women in general seem to have this marvellous way of undervaluing themselves. I think we could transform the world if we just started to believe the truth about ourselves. They say we behave what we believe. If my beliefs change, then my behaviour will. If my behaviour changes, my responses change. If my responses change, my reactions change. If my reactions change, then people will also react to me differently. And then I will find that whatever 'vibe' I've been giving off has changed. And I will find that maybe, just maybe, I will interpret others' responses differently, just becuase I believe something different about myself.

If you believe you are of worth, becuase God says so, not anyone else; if you believe that in the deep down quiet places of your heart, and you start to know it, then you won't let others undervalue you either. More healthy relationships. Easier to walk away. No less hurt due to rejection, but I think it always takes emotions a while to catch up.

Lord, I'm learning so much! Does any of this make sense to anyone?