Soaking

It is like learning a new skill, connecting with the earth, with God, learning the truth. And I've been a Christian 13 years. Firstly it requires one thing: Sometimes, you have to be still. Not necessarily physically still, but still on the inside, your mind you have to still, and then begin to sensitise yourself to your surroundings. Start to quiet the words, the thoughts, the sentences, and start to breathe in with the rest of nature, the sun, the scenery. Even if you're in your room. Lie on your bed and just get yourself to a point of silence and stillness, closing your eyes, but not falling asleep.

I'm trying to make this a habit, becuase I really yearn for a better way of life. I'm fed up of the noise, and I'm craving the peace. And of course, peace is a gift from the Holy Spirit, and not only do i eagerly desire it, I pray for it all the time. And I'm learning. I really want to change, but I've discovered this:

You know you have a really dry plant on your windowsill that you've forgotten to water for ages and ages? It is still alive, but not exactly thriving. The earth around its roots is dry and cracked and crisp and dusty to the touch. It is hard and impenetrable, and you don't dare poke about too much because you could end up breaking something. Then you decide to water it, and you go at it with a jug full of water. But the surface is so dry that it rolls off and down the sides. Sometimes the whole plant might even rise out of its container and float on top of the water that you've poured in.

I feel like that. I'm desperate for a drink. I'm desperate to be revived and to be thriving, happy and healthy and making flowers. But my soil is not ready. I am learning to soak. And the results aren't immediately apparent. They can't be. First of all, the only contact with the water may be a few tiny roots and the soil that is cracked and dry. And very gradually, over time, the water will begin to be soaked up. It might not penetrate all of my roots, or even much of the soil. So, I will keep going to be filled up. At first, you might not see an improvement. But you may keep topping it up, becuase it looks like the plant could do with more water. Once it is past the 'too difficult to absorb' stage, there is no stopping it. The plant then absorbs its nourishment much more quickly, it can drink a lot more. But it will take a long time, and a lot of care. But the exciting thought is that I might bear the most beautiful flowers one day.

I can't wait.