Whitehall, London, 1834

Dearest Gwendoline,

It was with great anticipation that I opened your latest communiqué to me. I have been on an arctic adventure, and have only just returned, so I apologise for the six-month delay in replying to your thesis. It has been a most exhilarating experience, and I did not lose one single husky, although one of my crew went ice fishing one morning and never returned. We have a feeling that he was kidnapped by native ice-dwellers, although since none of us had either seen anything and the only thing remaining was a basket of fish, we have our suspicions. We never did find the lost statue of the giant prawn god, but we did have a marriage on board, and since I was captain of the expedition, the duty fell to me to perform the ceremony. It was a beautiful occasion and we all got quite drunk on Whisky. It is fortunate we have returned with our lives intact.

I send my regards to your mother and hope that she has had more success this year breeding her pedigree guinea pigs. How many competitions has she entered them into this season? How is Bongo, my favourite? The last thing I heard was that she was thinking of branching out into amphibians? Has this plan come to fruition at all? And what of your brother, Alfred? Has he finally graduated from the seminary? Fourteen years is an awfully long time to be studying how to button a cassock. I hear he has carved quite a niche for himself as a master bookbinder in the interim.

I must say that I am sorry to hear about your recent electrocution, and hope that you have recovered and are now drinking more than mere lemonade through a straw. I enclose a package containing the finest smoked fishes for your enjoyment. These were the only memorabilia we found of dear Olli, and I know he would be honoured by your enjoyment of these delicacies.

Thank you for your kind invitation to visit you and your son, William. I hear he has grown very entertaining with his comedic singing routines and is planning an outing on the stage? Not to be advised for someone who is only three and a half, but I'm sure you know this already. I will have to see whether I can fit it in with my lecture tour around southern Germany and the persistent fundraising that I need to do in order to enable me to continue my search for the giant prawn god. Damn this obsession, it will be the death of me!

My dear, this brings me to a painful topic which I am loath to broach. How can I say this without hurting your feelings, especially in lieu of the recent electrocution? I make a dreadful suitor, don't I? I have disregard for your stability, financial and otherwise. I spend months away from home on a regular basis, spend all the money I have to ensure the success of my expeditions and care for little more than the pursuit of the elusive prawn God. What can I say more than I value your continued friendship and am saddened that I can only offer in return my loyalty and affection. Should you need anything, you know you only need ask.

My dear, I must go now as the huskies are growing restless and are demanding to be fed. But before I go, one more thing: I have also enclosed the address of a young gentleman who may be able to advise William in his endeavours to practice his comedy. I believe he is an acquaintance of your brother Alfred from the seminary. His name is Timothy. Do send him my regards if you happen to see him.

Yours faithfully,

Captain Gary De Beauvoir - St James

Story

Geronimo opened one eye a crack and languidly looked out over the plains. He was stretched out on the swinging chair that uncle Bo had hung on the front porch thirty years ago. The paint was cracked and scratched where Geronimo had incessantly played with the flaking lacquer, but this spring ma had made some brand new gingham cushions to off-set the fading geraniums in the window boxes. From his vantage point on the swing, Geronimo had an amiable view of the front garden and over the fields beyond. The sun was setting and ma was working hard to keep her sunflowers happy. In the front right hand corner of the garden near the water pump, she had planted tomatoes and sweet peppers and the glint of the sun was making the plump globes glow orange like fireflies. He could almost smell them sweetening on the vine as he took a deep breath and stretched out his arms over his head, giving a yawn so large that if you had been standing near by, you would have seen what he had consumed for dinner. He changed his position to one that was a little more upright, and watched as ma busied herself with the weeding. She was singing an old gospel song at the top of her voice, thoroughly immersed in the intricacies of shooing away field mice and making up new verses as she shooed. Geronimo loved to hear her rich smooth voice dance over the notes that he had grown to know so well. He was especially comforted and a delighted when she sang the blues, and knew that she would sing them just for his pleasure.

A dull bashing sound grew louder and threatened to interrupt him from his reverie. When it got so annoying that he could tolerate it no longer, he jumped up from his seat and ambled over to ma to find out what all the fuss was about. ‘Damn turkeys! They get everywhere!’ grumbled a disembodied voice from around the corner. ‘What are you fussin’ about now, John?’ sang ma tunefully as she continued with her horticultural activities, ‘There is no way them turkeys could get out!’ The door of a heavy vehicle slammed and two weary boots trudged up the dirt path around the side of the garden. ‘This ain’t gonna make it easy for the boys to load up once the carrier gets here!’ John mumbled as dragged a laden sack along the ground and up to the house. ‘Don’t you go tramplin’ my busy lizzies and getting dirt all over the kitchen, now!’ ma warned as pa continued to trudge up the steps and through the screen door. Geronimo blinked as ma ushered him away with a giggle, ‘you’ll be getting under my feet and causin’ no end of trouble G, go help pa get things ready for the carrier…’

Geronimo turned to go back into the house, but no sooner had he got to the door that ma screeched, ‘John! They’re heeeeeeeere!’ without even looking up from her flowers. There was a flurry of dust rising as a booming sound grew louder in an instant as a giant metal object descended vertically from above. Ma held on to her bonnet and tried to ignore the mess it was making of her garden. A couple of minutes later, and the cargo door opened with a creak and hiss. Ma pulled up straight, wiped her hands on her apron and then wiped her brow as she watched two burly young men run out of the bay to greet her.

‘Ma! How ya been?’ cried one of the men jovially, as he bounded up to greet his mother with a bear hug. He was broad and dark with a wide, engaging grin that showed off the dimples in the side of his face that stretched the full length of his cheeks. His skin was tanned and though he was young, he had an old knowing look in his dark brown eyes. ‘Marcus! You is nearly tipping me over! Git!!!’

‘How ya doin’, ma?’ asked the older brother, as he bent down to give his mother a kiss on the cheek and a fond embrace. He was just as tall as his brother, with the same dark looks, although he was a little thicker set, and looked as if he carried the worries of the world on his shoulders. ‘Good to have you home again, Jacob,’ said his mother tenderly, with a sympathetic smile.

‘How ya doin’ G?’ asked Marcus as he ruffled the hair on top of Geronimo’s head, ‘You gonna join us on this next trip of ours?’ Geronimo turned in distain, flicked his tail and went to investigate the interior of the cargo hold to see if the boys had brought back any gifts for him.

It was hard work being a space cat.

A new phase of evaluation, assessment and strategising

Do I sound like a management training course?

One year is long enough to defer thinking about my problems and engage in the 'just surviving' of it all, hoping I have enough money to pay the bills without constantly monitoring my bank account, spending money on things I don't know if I can afford, not going on with any sense of business or exercise plan and generally letting things go to pot...

So, inspired by a recent visit to my pastor and his wife, wherein I discussed the lack of organisation in one area of the church in which I'm involved and the problems therein, i have decided to put my money where my mouth is and strategise my life.

Areas of interest include:

- Doing my accounts/taxes and budgeting before the end of January and instigating a closer monitoring system over my expenditure. I like charts and graphs, and it is quite good that I actually already have systems in place to cover this lot - all I need to do is the filly in stuff. Oh joy!

- Making one or two resolutions concerning health and fitness, but no great plans to lose five stone or exercise four times a week. Reflect on self image and how this affects my behaviour, and seek to understand and embody self acceptance and how achieving thinness is not going to change how I feel about myself. Understand that I have value and significance because it has been given me by God, not becauase of anything that I do or have or am external to Him.

- Taking more responsibility and leadership in my church homegroup, to better serve the needs of those who I am responsible to, and to grow and improve as part of an 'ensemble'. To encourage open discussion and deepening of relationships and to see lives transformed. To be the one to instigate and stress the importance of verbalising goals and inspire others to create strategies and support and enable them to come to fruition, and happily understand that this is my role where God has put me right now.

- To grow and develop as a musician and worship leader, to be an effective team player and learn to deal with all the challenges of working in a team in a mature and productive way. To ensure that I learn how to communicate my concerns and frustrations in a way that is non-threatening and edifying to the whole team. To ensure that I in no way undermine the leadership, but understand the nature of service.

- Make a business plan for 'Serine's Corsets' with a mind to including the following: Learning how to become a better businesswoman and not be afraid of asking a good price for the good product that I make. Learning to communicate this better. Learning to capitalise on my creative strengths by offering several different services, like teddy bear making which will also be a good business venture. Becoming financially secure, so that I will be able to increase in professionality by being able to afford more space to work, either to rent a work room in a private home or a shop front/studio space shared with other artists.

I'm really excited about the fact of strategising, becuase it means you look at the things that are really important to you. Before you know it, you realise that you are motivated and driven by a set of VALUES that you either didn't know you had, or were frustrated about becuase your life up until now hasn't been able to reflect these values.

And hopefully the process of 'living what you believe' is fulfilling, becuase then you're not at odds with yourself. Even if I'm not making huge amounts of money, I am investing in things which are more important to me:

- deepening friendships and supporting people as they learn about themselves and their motivations

- working together in a team and getting over the challenges of being on this planet with people who differ in approach and attitude to me. (my own little private 'road trip' and 'coming of age' movie)

- appreciating creative and delightful things, and thus retaining a soft squishy centre that is responsive to and celebrates beauty.

- understanding that all good things come from God, the creator of the universe, and knowing that this belief is not about serving myself, my needs, my dreams and my desires, but is about the bigger picture and playing a part in a greater universal tapestry.

Cor, this is looking a bit like a mission statement, isn't it??? THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!! This is the 'click' that I have been waiting for near on a year, now. This is the injection of hope, and excitement and energy that comes from having a purpose and a goal and a direction to move in. Cor, its all really focussed, isn't it?

I like being me, praise the Lord!

New Year, New World?

OK, so we've thundered into the New Year in a stream of well, er... streamers. I have spent a thoroughly indulgent holiday season catching up on being a vegetable and boning up on my recommended daily allowance of Science Fiction. I have discovered a new series (of which only a little exists since the network in the US ENDED it) called FIREFLY, which is totally fabulous. I have fallen in love with the entire crew. Bless. Needless to say, it is the newest offering from genius Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy etc.. and is MUCH better than any Buffy or Angel (dare I say it???)

OK, as far as new years resolutions go, they're not so much resolutions as they are nice tasks to accomplish and might be quite fun as they go. I've also included some more boring ones, just for a sense of reality.

- wear all my crazy shoes more often

- try on everything in my wardrobe and re-organise and re-style myself.

- make some really good underwear

- write a children's book and see if i can't get it published

- sell some of my miniature teddy bears online

- launch my website (therefore getting loads of business)

- I like the idea of getting an article in the local press - that would be GREAT!

- Be able to start saving money

- Make a full on business plan

- Write one song every month - I'll have an album by the end of the year

- Go salsa or ceroc dancing once a week

- Have a quiet time of reflection, evaluation and thanksgiving every day

- Become financially independent?

- Ride motorcycles more often

- Take more care of myself (maybe the last one doesn't go well with this one?)

- Have more fun!

- Go on a dance holiday

- Put a ban on buying any more makeup or magazines

- Make At least 12 corsets this year.

I hope there isn't anything unrealistic here. All of them are pretty cool. Generally speaking, the idea is to be a bit more constructive, productive (with accounts) and a bit less Sci-Fi obsessed.

Please do comment.